Between anxiety and apathy

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September 17, 2012 by ilharessdellloun

Greetings,

Recently I’ve been reading The Black Magician Trilogy by Trudi Canavan. I can safely say that

one) it is awesome

two) it is slowly but surely restoring my faith in trilogies

three) everytime I pick it up I feel a little defeated and wonder if I’ll ever actually get around to writing a book, and when I do will anyone read it?

And if they do, will they like it? Will I change anybody’s life? Will I one day be to some twelve-year-old girl or boy what Tolkien was to me? Is it really, really conceited to even consider being somebody’s Tolkien?

I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s finally hit me: writer’s block. That space between anxiety and apathy. I start up my laptop intending to be productive and instead play Mahjong. Not that there’s anything wrong with Mahjong; in fact. it’s very challenging. But it’s not writing.

So I go back to reading Book Two, The Novice. And I’m back in my early days marveling at this fantastical world and getting caught up in the lives of magicians and the intrigues of Thieves… And in the pause between pages I try to find a way past my anxieties and apathy.

From Knowledge comes Balance,

The uninspired tea-drinking mess formerly known as Ilharess

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